Remember when we were young, and nothing really mattered? Sometimes we would want to stay up late or stay and play with friends, but we didn’t have to think about the past. Everyday as a child was just another day of play. We were eternally present and open to the world and people we met. We felt light.
What changed? Now we have a past.
What can we do to get back to the happy-go-lucky attitude we embodied as children? Release it.
How can we let go? Forgive! Picture a future where the past is necessary for our growth. If we turn our focus from what happened to what we learned, then we can release our past.
What if it involved more people? We should still forgive ourselves, but if others were affected then we can say “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” This will help cut the cord between you and the other people. Again, it will make us feel lighter having resolved it.
What if we don’t let go? We repeat patterns until we learn how to solve them. If we don’t learn from our past, then we will repeat the lesson.
Can you give an example? My parents were divorced when I was an early teen. We moved around the same time. I was attached to a past where I wished my parents had stayed together. It took me a while to realize that good came out of it as well. Both of my parents blossomed after their relationship ended. I learned more about independence because I had to take care of myself more than I might have with a solid home. I learned how to better manage conflict. I was forced out of my comfort zone often and found myself more involved with school, friends and extracurricular events. I learned about human psychology and about the many sides and to a story. It’s not easy to balance emotions of two parents who want you to love one and hate the other. They were doing the best they could at the time, and have grown out of it. I learned how to navigate discussions and how to compromise. Overall, it made me a stronger person and gave me an opportunity to grow. When I recognized this and forgave my parents because I knew that they were doing the best they could at the time, then I felt lighter, and my relationships improved because we reached a new level of understanding.
To get closer to feeling young again, we might want to process old emotions. Here is a four-step method toward releasing our past:
- Start by understanding what we should release by asking, “what past event do we want to release or reframe?”
- Change our perpective from the past to how we can do better in the future by asking, “what did we learn?”
- Check in with ourselves by asking, “do we need to forgive people or ask for forgiveness?”
- Remind ourselves of the value of working through this by asking “what if we don’t let go?”
The lighter we feel, the closer we are to our “core persona”. Without the baggage we might otherwise carry, it becomes easier to be ourselves and passionately give back to the world (and get paid to do it). Our highest value comes from things that set our souls on fire. Like any good treasure, our greatest selves are buried beneath the past. When we meditate or pray we can find what is blocking us from making the next step. The sooner we release it the closer we can get to walking as our purest self, and will best help the people in our lives. Take the leap, decide to be free and welcome the reality that is meant to be.