Hey! So, as some of you know I’m reading Principles by Ray Dalio, which has given me some important insights into what life experience is. There seem to be a bunch of conflicting viewpoints out in social media, mainstream media, any kind of media really. In the past, I have found it to be difficult to sift through and find the truth behind what’s being said. Truth is best understood objectively, with things like “it is raining, or the sun is out today”. These can’t be disputed, they are a material fact. It takes more reasoning to sift through truth that depends on an individual or an entity. Things like “I think that’s a great idea”. If someone says it’s a great idea it does not mean it is a great idea. It means their understanding leads them to think that it is. Say, for example, that you are planning a trip for a vacation. Say also, you know a man, a surgeon, who has never left his home in his life, and you ask his advice about where to go, and he tells you Costa Rica. Then say you also know a man who blogs and travels the world as part of his career, and you ask his advice and he says Kauai. Who should you trust?
This is the basic principle I pulled from the last couple chapters I’ve read of Principles. It’s that people you ask advice from should have success in the field you are politely questioning. My personal abdication for this comes from life experience. I trusted myself, someone with very little relationship to make decisions about relationships when I had guidance from people with successful relationships. This is the equivalent of having an ego big enough to think you build a company without first looking to others who have done so successfully. Even more simply put, it’s like teaching yourself to tie your shoes without help through the process. Sure, you’ll get there eventually. Why put yourself through useless pain? Learn from others so that you move onto something else more quickly.
Part of learning from others instead of yourself is a little difficult. It requires an open mind. It necessitates that you consider that you may be wrong, and not an expert in the field you are exploring.
This is why it is advantageous to 1. Know what you’re missing., and 2. Know how to alleviate that within yourself, or better yet find someone who could advice you to do better.
The other thing that I’ve realized recently though experience instead of reading is that regret is more painful than getting over the impetus to engage a situation. Recently, I have been meeting new people, at beaches, parks, the store, wherever. When I see someone I am interested in I start to battle myself and talk myself out of it, but the times where I am successful in getting myself out of talking up someone new, I struggle much more than when I actually talk to people. For one thing, most people are welcoming to the idea of meeting someone new, and I’ve met some really cool people this way. Part of me thinks it’s a really nice story I keep telling, where I run into someone I have never met, and suddenly my whole world is changed by a new friend or love.
“Live well, laugh often, and love with all of your heart!” - Unknown
What’s life without risk? What is pleasure without reaching for the stars to catch one just right for you? The most ecstatic moments are found outside our comfort zones, diving into ourselves to find others in us.