This week was more routine. People tended to bring me to high highs and spending time alone made me feel alone. I’ve been working pretty hard, and trying to take care of the important things like my relationships and family.
I feel like I’m on the verge of something. It feels that way especially because I am definitely out of my comfort zone. The expansion of myself in the interactions that I’m having by reaching out to people and putting time into understanding who other people are and what they’re looking for in the world is usually indicative of a growth period for me. In the past it sometimes led to self sabotage because I would eagerly return to old habits and over indulge because I was deprived of whatever vice I had left. More recently, I have found that keeping the momentum going and placing focus on where else I can improve myself has allowed me to avoid the recess period of doing older vices.
I’ve found it’s easy to cut the world out, to sit alone, and find peace. I’ve also learned how unfulfilling that is, and how important it is to work on connecting with people because, although it’s harder, it is more rewarding.
There’s a saying about this, “Nothing easy lasts, and things that last aren’t easy.” - Unknown.
As I struggle to make myself meet new people I find resistance in my mind based on things I’ve heard in the past from other people about who I am. I find it interesting sometimes to pay attention to that thought because it ignores the good things people have said about me in the past. Why do I sometimes tend to reflect negatively? What benefit does that provide? Is that part of human nature?
Maybe it’s alright to look at painful experiences and gather what you’ve learned. I have found it is the basis of building principles for future actions.
So today, I was faced with a decision I had made poorly in the past, but this time I took the right route. Surprisingly, I found myself improving my life in a category I have struggled with in my life. This decision was based on a learning I found from reading Principles by Ray Dalio. The nugget of information I used to improve myself today was to act when my heart and intuition are aligned.
I am a heartfelt guy. I feel everything. My Mom and Dad viewed it as being a weakness, but I see it for what it really is, my greatest strength. I find it easier to connect. Easier to understand how others are feeling. Why people are acting the way that they are, and to share joy with the people in my life, stranger or friend.
Something big is coming. I can’t wait to see it.
“A simple "I love you" means more than money.” - Frank Sinatra