Why is in that some people have addictive personalities? Myself included, some people push trauma out of their minds by moving from one addiction to the next. It’s possible to be addicted to all kinds of things from love, to work and drugs. People have addictive personalities because addiction covers unresolved past pain temporarily.
Eventually though, we are faced with our pain when the addiction no longer satisfies the unresolved space inside of us. Usually, it’s more intense then. So we either change our relationship with the addiction, move onto another addiction or face the pain and transform it by accepting it as a part of the past, acknowledging it, and beginning to live presently.
Addiction is especially dangerous in the context of a relationship. What most people think of is love today is attachment designed to fill our individual needs. Eventually, the relation fails to meet the needs of either ourselves or our partner and one of us will act out in an attempt to manipulate or coerce the other person into filling our needs. Usually this triggers the other person to react, then this continues until there is a shift in the relationship, or until we are done projecting our pain onto the other person.
After pain, comes pleasure, and then this cycle continues until someone in the relationship becomes conscious of the pattern. However, we don’t free ourselves from conflict by resolving our differences. We free ourselves by accepting the other person the way they are and not trying to change them. It’s this enlightened state that allows us to find peace no matter what.
When we start to accept other people as they are, then we are truly free. They can be themselves, and we can be ourselves, and we only have to protect ourselves and set boundaries where we need them.
However, to accept others for who they are, we have to first accept ourselves. That means dissolving our addictions and becoming present with who we are. Everyday is a new day, and we can be the best versions of ourselves now.